Written by Olivia Waters, UPCI Associate in Missions – Finland

FLEXIBILITY

From my very first hour in Finland on AIM, I knew that God had some lessons in mind that He wanted to teach me through my experiences here. So, what better way for Him to teach me my first lesson than to allow my baggage to get lost? I scrambled around the baggage claim terminal for about two hours before I realized that my presence at the airport was not going to make my luggage appear out of thin air, and that the kind lady at the help center would have my things delivered to my Airbnb as soon as they found them. Leaving the airport without my suitcase felt difficult, but allowing the Alphins to wait for me as I stayed somewhere that I truly did not need to stay felt even worse. On the car ride to their house, the Alphins allowed God to speak through them and into my life about one of the most major things needed on the mission field – flexibility. During that conversation, I was taught that my unyielding plans had to learn to bend. The bending would not break me, but would allow me to move into the place that God wanted me to be. (My luggage was found a few hours later and was delivered to me that same night, praise the Lord!)

As someone who naturally clings to a schedule like a lifeboat, this lesson has truly shaped my entire time on AIM, and will continue throughout my life. Beyond the suitcase situation, many other ‘adventures’ have cemented this lesson of flexibility into me. I have learned that while I can schedule out every moment, God has a way of knocking down my own ideas and plans so that He can work it out for His good. The lessons that I have learned in Finland about flexibility have taught me that I can either throw a pity party for my shattered plans, or I can step back from my schedule and allow God to take me where He wants me to go in His timing. That choice between the two paths of either fussing or following is the very core of what it takes to be flexible, and I am so thankful to have learned to bend.

RECEIVING FROM AN OPEN HAND

“But it feels so wrong to take money from missionaries!” That quick but honest reaction slipped out of me when the Alphins had offered to pay for my food during my time AIMing in Finland. I had said it with a laugh, but the tightening in my chest was real. I felt guilty and uncomfortable, like a burden who was taking from the the people who had already given so much to be on the field. The Alphins were the ones who left home, raised support, and stepped out in total faith. Me? I was just there to help for a bit. Why would they be giving to me?

As I was peeling back the layers of the onion (as Sis. Alphin says), I realized that it was not about the food or coffee that they were blessing me with. It was about control and pride. Usually, I am more comfortable being the one who gives rather than receives, but I have come to realize that this mindset was my way of holding onto control. Bro. Alphin had said something that really had me taking a second to pause and consider: “There’s a fine line between independence and rebellion.” Thinking that through, I had to acknowledge that while my “I’ve got it” attitude felt noble, resistance was found at the root of it. It was a silent refusal to be vulnerable, to show weakness, and to receive what was offered with an open hand.

Living with an open hand means living a life in surrender – operating in both aspects of receiving and releasing. Because of the Alphin’s daily example, I have been learning to apply this in my own life. I have learned to pour out my help freely: I have given of my time, effort, energy, presence, and care. In this pouring out and giving, I have realized that I am not doing these things to earn my place here or anything like that, but rather to learn to operate constantly with an open hand. Living this life surrendered and with my hands opened means that I no longer have to tightly grab ahold of control/independence. Instead, it means that I can live a life in complete trust that God will provide – sometimes through me, and sometimes for me.

This new aspect of surrender that I am learning to operate in is not just about money or help. It is about releasing what I have been clinging to: the pressure to do everything myself. I have spent my entire life trying to be self-sufficient, low-maintenance, and completely independent so that I would not have to be a burden. However, here in Finland, God has been gently teaching me how to live with an open hand, where I am able to not just give freely, but receive freely too.

Note from GA: Olivia has also been living with an open hand with finance: she turned the lesson back on us during a trip and insisted on buying our lunch. After working hard to teach the concept, yes… we needed to receive the blessing she offered even though it felt wrong to take our AIMers money (those human habits die hard). Pastor William Sciscoe used to take the check after we’d eaten a meal together at a restaurant and when we would protest, he would say, “Don’t steal my blessing!” Those lessons are ongoing.